He accuses me of not wanting to understand him.
My husband has been living with his mother for six months now. She keeps pretending to be sick. He had stayed with her for three weeks before, but now that was a bit of an exaggeration. He also accuses me of not wanting to understand him and help him in some way.
How can I help my mother-in-law who is constantly pretending to destroy our marriage? She just ties her son to her in the simplest way possible, feigning her infirmity. I already lived with this woman. Thank you, I won’t make the same mistake again.
His mother received the news that Mariusz and I had decided to get married very painfully. She didn’t even hide that she didn’t like the idea. She didn’t want to argue openly because she wanted her son to think she was a good mother, but each time she tried to provoke me and resented me.
I didn’t let myself be provoked, especially since we didn’t have to communicate so much. I had my own apartment, where we lived together with Mariusz. His mother wasn’t happy about it either. It is difficult to influence the life of a son who is not always under your control, just as it is difficult to influence the life of a daughter-in-law who does not have to strive in every way to please you.
But my husband’s mother had another idea. In fact, she’s not the only person to come up with this. The idea was to look like someone who is seriously ill and needs constant care.
Mariusz, who had never dealt with this type of manipulation by his mother before, became very sensitive and constantly stayed with her. The «poor old woman» had so many ailments that she could have been examined. Medical institutions would fight among themselves for such a «specimen».
She suffered from both high and low blood pressure, chest pains, lower back pain, crunching in her knees, and fainting spells. But I have to admit that it took me a while to realize that she was actually faking it. I thought it was all due to stress. Her beloved son moved in with some woman, so it’s no wonder that the body reacts in this way.
The first time my mother-in-law got seriously ill and my husband had been living with her for a week, I also packed the most necessary things and went to help my husband take care of his mother. I thought it was something serious. On the first day she behaved very believably.
But after two days I noticed that all these health problems suddenly disappear when Mariusz leaves the apartment. Mother-in-law immediately feels better and is quite happy. But as soon as my husband appears on the doorstep, the mother-in-law feels bad again.
I shared my observations with my husband, but he didn’t believe me, which is not surprising. He plays his role so well. But I wasn’t going to believe her. I packed my things and went home.
The husband returned a few days later, saying that his mother was feeling better. Apparently my mother-in-law couldn’t contain the joy that filled her heart when I left her home, which was the price she paid. But a few weeks later, she started pretending to be seriously ill again.
This really pissed me off because every time my mother-in-law started «feeling bad» again, my husband would move in with her for an indefinite period. His mother only got better when I tried to convince him to call a doctor. A healthy person cannot get sick so often, there must be a reason for it.
When my husband’s mother understood that there might be a doctor’s visit, she immediately began to recover. My husband, however, when he was sure that his beloved mother’s life was no longer in danger, returned home to me.
Meanwhile, a similar situation has been going on for six months. In the beginning, there was indeed a good reason to look after her — she had surgery on her leg. Two years ago she fell and had knee problems. The doctor recommended surgery to avoid complications in the future.
My husband’s mother had surgery and was advised to stay in bed for a week. My husband was with her, as befits a loving son. I didn’t mind, because the man really needed help.
However, after a week or a month, the husband did not return home. My mother pretended that she hadn’t fully recovered yet. She could walk now, but she kept telling her son how she fell over while walking and barely got up while he was at work.
My husband has been living with his mother for six months now and believes her stories. Although no doctors found anything and everyone says there is no reason to worry, the operation was successful, the woman can walk normally. He can’t run, but he can walk even without the aid of crutches. But these are some doctors out there, what might they know.
I made it a condition for my husband to either return home permanently or take his belongings as I file for divorce. Now my husband accuses me of not loving him and not wanting to understand him. After all, he is not at his lover’s and does not rest, he is close to his mother, who badly needs his help.
All my friends are asking what am I waiting for, it’s so obvious and we should get a divorce. Well, I guess it’s time that even I realized that, even though I believed until the last moment that my husband’s sanity would prevail.