Luxury is not about underwear, not about lipsticks, not about restaurants, and not about high heels. True luxury is living in a way that is comfortable for you. In comfortable underwear. In comfortable shoes. With the lipstick color you like, or without lipstick at all. Eating the food you enjoy, being friends with those who bring warmth, being together out of love, not out of a sense of duty.

Learn to say no to the unnecessary. To things that have worn out. And cherish what you love. My friend’s 5-year-old daughter has been going to visits with her own spoon her entire little life. She can afford the luxury of eating with the spoon she likes. Her mom feels embarrassed, always trying to explain. And I started bringing my own utensils and dishes to picnics because I don’t like eating from plastic. I don’t care what others think about it.

A luxurious life is not about ‘you deserve this.’ It’s about the item deserving you. The cup gifted by your sister. Dad’s t-shirt that feels cozy to sleep in. Pie according to mom’s recipe. A kiss from a loved one. Interesting books. Good movies. Those favorite songs. Fresh bed linen. A clean apartment. The life you chose for yourself.

Luxurious living is also not beating yourself up when things go wrong. Tights can tear. Dough may not rise. Friends may not want to watch your favorite movie. A loved one may leave. You may not get a promotion at work. Anything can happen. If something doesn’t work out, it doesn’t affect your worth. It just means that right now, things aren’t going the way you want.

Luxurious living is having the power of choice. Mending torn tights or buying new ones. Throwing away the pie and ordering sushi or attempting to bake the pie again. Watching a movie alone or going to a café with friends. Letting go or fighting. Looking for a new job or reevaluating your goals in the current one.

Luxurious living is living by your own rules. Pursuing your goals. Not seeking excuses. Not being convenient. Not justifying your choices, dreams, and interests. Saying, ‘This is not acceptable for me.’ And saying, ‘I can do this.’