Cats are true masters of cunning and independence, never failing to surprise their owners. Predicting their thoughts is nearly impossible: sometimes they can get offended over trivial matters or simply ignore everyone around them. Internet users have shared their funny and quirky pet stories in the “Eavesdropping” community. We selected the funniest ones and preserved the original spelling mistakes to convey the full spectrum of emotions from the authors.

1. Fussy Barsik

Hot summer, open window on the first floor and the shout: “You don’t like it, huh?! I spent all day cooking for you in the kitchen, and you’re turning up your nose! Come on, eat! Who am I talking to, Barsik? Eat!”

2. The Cat and Jealousy

My cat is too attached to me: he always sleeps with me, eats next to me, and even follows me to the bathroom. One day, I didn’t stay at home overnight, and when I returned in the morning, my cat greeted me with all signs of discontent. He managed to poop in every available pair of shoes and ruined a pillow, blanket, socks, and a bathrobe. But he didn’t stop there. Two days later, while sorting the laundry for washing, I discovered that this jealous creature had buried his poop in my dirty underwear. Looks like I’ll be sleeping at home forever.

3. A Secret Surprise for Marat

My husband is named Marat, and we have no children. While he was on a business trip, I decided to get a cat and surprise him. The cat turned out to be very talkative and often yelled something like “mauma!” or “marra!” at night, which sounded like “mama” and “Marat.” When my husband returned, I completely forgot to mention the cat. At night, when we were almost asleep, a voice came from the door: “Mama! MAMA!” My husband, horrified, asked: “Who is that?” I, trying not to laugh, replied: “Don’t worry, I showed him your photo and told him that his dad is a hero!” And then the cat yelled hysterically: “MARAT! MARAT!” You should have seen my husband; I haven’t laughed like that in a long time.

4. The unpredictability of the stove

We got a sphinx cat and did all the necessary vaccinations, feeding him special food, hoping for offspring. But our plans were shattered: the cat accidentally sat on the hot stove, depriving himself of the ability to continue the lineage.

5. The Christmas Tree, Reflection, and Fear

They say that house cats often knock over Christmas trees. My cat did it differently. One day, she crawled under the tree, where big ornaments were hanging, and seeing her reflection, got so scared that she jumped back, crashed into the wall, knocked over the tinsel, and toppled the tree. The tree hit the TV, which fell and broke. Since then, my cat avoids the tree, and she can’t stand the tinsel.

6. Falling from the Balcony

My cat fell from the fifth-floor balcony. I rushed to save him, but on the second floor, I twisted my ankle, hit my head, and broke my arm. While I was lying there, the cat walked past me, perfectly fine, and calmly went home.

7. The Troll Cat in the Store

I work in a store, and the management has been feeding a fluffy black cat with a white spot on its belly. This cat loves to troll people: she sits at the entrance, identifies superstitious customers, and then leisurely crosses their path. People curse, spit over their shoulders, and the cat watches their reactions with a sly expression.

8. The Ghost Cat

I was sleeping, feeling that someone was lying on my chest and purring. I was afraid to open my eyes and tried to figure out where I got a cat from. I remembered that my mother-in-law’s cat, who loved to sleep on me, had died a long time ago. But how could he be here, in another city? In a panic, I threw off this “thing” and tossed aside the blanket. It turned out that my husband bought a kitten and didn’t tell me since he left for the night shift. Fortunately, the kitten was safe and sound.

9. Air Freshener and the Cat

We bought an automatic air freshener and put it in the bathroom. When I encountered it for the first time, I was a bit scared when the freshener suddenly sprayed a scent. But then we had a real surprise: when the cat went to the litter box, the freshener went off right on him. From there to the living room, we collected the poop that the cat left in his wake.

10. Cat’s Water Fun

At night, almost falling asleep, I heard a noise — someone flushed the toilet. I was horrified, as no one was home. Gathering my courage, I went to check what happened. It turned out that my cat was sitting on the tank and pressing the button, admiring the waterfall with delight. I had to buy him an automatic water dispenser to stop him from playing with the toilet.

11. Adventures through the Hole

In our apartment, we have a separate bathroom, and there is a small hole between the bathroom and the toilet. The little kitten kept crawling through this hole and ended up in the toilet. Over time, he grew up and stopped crawling through there. Now he prefers to flip his water bowl in the kitchen and splash in the puddle.

12. Awkward Visit to the Vet

At the vet’s office, my cat crawled under my jacket on my back. The vet had to pull her out from there: I was lying chest-down on the table while the doctor was trying to get the cat out. At that moment, a second vet walked in, who was initially confused but then joined the “rescue.” At that moment, the receptionist saw the situation and started laughing. I’m still embarrassed about that circus.

13. Love for Slippers

Our cat loves my slippers and tries to mate with them. My husband’s slippers do not interest him at all. I have changed slippers several times, but to no avail. Now we even play romantic music for him.

14. How to Outsmart a Cat

The cat started pooping in the bathtub, and we decided to outsmart him by filling the bathtub with water overnight. In the morning, we were pleased with our success until we discovered that the cat had pooped in the sink.

15. A Ball of Yarn

Leaving the cat alone at home, I returned to find that he had gotten the ball of yarn and unraveled it all over the room, wrapping it around the legs of chairs, armchairs, and other furniture. In the end, he got himself tangled up and lay in the middle of the room, unable to move. I had to rescue him with scissors.

16. Cats and Vertical Sleep

When I was little, my grandmother had three cats that would climb up the carpet on the wall and sleep hanging vertically, clinging with their claws. Back then, I wasn’t surprised, but now I think: how on earth did they sleep like that?

17. Fear of Utility Services

Our cat is afraid of the word “utility services.” As soon as someone says it, the cat immediately hunches his back, fluffs up his tail, and runs away to hide. He has no such reaction to other words.